A Morgan Freeman cheatsheet; your guide to watching Morgan Freeman organized by rank.
I think "Pimp" may also belong somewhere between "Judge" and "Police Detective".
http://tinyurl.com/yebt4ov
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Puppies, Yo.
Thank you Google Reader. Much of what you give me through my recommendations is pretentious white people blogging about life, computers, or feminism in a neither funny nor entirely serious way.
But sometimes, the white people blog about great things. E.g. Puppies:
http://taza-and-husband.blogspot.com/2009/12/um-adorable.html
But sometimes, the white people blog about great things. E.g. Puppies:
http://taza-and-husband.blogspot.com/2009/12/um-adorable.html
Psychologically disturbing sitcoms
How I Met My Mother
Malcolm on the Outside Looking In
Family Batters
I Resent Lucy
Unhappiness in the Family
Will and Disgrace
I don't know What's Happening
I don't know What's Happening Now
Tyler Perry's House of Arguments
Everybody Despises Raymond
Joanie Doesn't Love Chachi Anymore, But That Doesn't Mean She Stopped Loving You
Enemies
Roseanne
Malcolm on the Outside Looking In
Family Batters
I Resent Lucy
Unhappiness in the Family
Will and Disgrace
I don't know What's Happening
I don't know What's Happening Now
Tyler Perry's House of Arguments
Everybody Despises Raymond
Joanie Doesn't Love Chachi Anymore, But That Doesn't Mean She Stopped Loving You
Enemies
Roseanne
Monday, December 14, 2009
Thought Blips, or: How my mind works
My brain is a funny thing.
Thoughts in my head bounce around in a disorderly and constant manner. Like electrons, it is impossible to know their position and their speed at the same time. They fly around in orbitals around a brain nucleus. This nucleus serves to attract the thoughts needed to express myself. More often than not, this nucleus attracts too few or too many thoughts and I end up confused or confusing others. Kind of like now.
Anyway, certain thoughts wander too close to the nucleus and get sucked in. Rarely expressed as words but thought up nonetheless, these thoughts are random non-contextual one-liners known as blips. If expressed, they would subject me to confused looks for being so out of context.
And you finally have the opportunity to find out what I mean.
You lucky person.
That long and overthought explanation of the Cognitive Cloud Model of the human brain (a "Brain Storm", if you will) introduces my twitter account: JTAthoughtblips. This will be my outlet of expressing my blips, for everyone's enjoyment.
So enjoy.
Thoughts in my head bounce around in a disorderly and constant manner. Like electrons, it is impossible to know their position and their speed at the same time. They fly around in orbitals around a brain nucleus. This nucleus serves to attract the thoughts needed to express myself. More often than not, this nucleus attracts too few or too many thoughts and I end up confused or confusing others. Kind of like now.
Anyway, certain thoughts wander too close to the nucleus and get sucked in. Rarely expressed as words but thought up nonetheless, these thoughts are random non-contextual one-liners known as blips. If expressed, they would subject me to confused looks for being so out of context.
And you finally have the opportunity to find out what I mean.
You lucky person.
That long and overthought explanation of the Cognitive Cloud Model of the human brain (a "Brain Storm", if you will) introduces my twitter account: JTAthoughtblips. This will be my outlet of expressing my blips, for everyone's enjoyment.
So enjoy.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
More Parliament
Given my recent disposition toward foreign legislative assemblies and my utter lack of anything else to write about, I thought I'd add a new video.
That's right. Canadian Parliament. Surprisingly more interesting than Congress.
They seem to share a similar energy to the Brits, but they lack in what may be the single most important area:
Funny accents.
Ideally, U.S. congress would become more like British parliament. However Canada clearly demonstrates that without the silly voices, even the most mundane subjects remain largely mundane.
Leave it to Canada to show us the wrong way to do something.
First order of business: British Accents. Maybe adopting the funny voices will in itself lead to a change in viewpoint of everyday matters. Maybe inheritance tax will seem important enough to elicit a vocal uproar from those who disagree with a certain policy on it.
That's right. Canadian Parliament. Surprisingly more interesting than Congress.
They seem to share a similar energy to the Brits, but they lack in what may be the single most important area:
Funny accents.
Ideally, U.S. congress would become more like British parliament. However Canada clearly demonstrates that without the silly voices, even the most mundane subjects remain largely mundane.
Leave it to Canada to show us the wrong way to do something.
First order of business: British Accents. Maybe adopting the funny voices will in itself lead to a change in viewpoint of everyday matters. Maybe inheritance tax will seem important enough to elicit a vocal uproar from those who disagree with a certain policy on it.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Congress vs. Parliament
So it's been a while since I posted. Sorry to disappoint the 7 of you possibly reading this.
But I have found something amazing.
The British have done it again. Even their lawmaking process is made interesting.
For example, here is a session of American Congress (don't watch the whole thing - it's 17 minutes long):
Boring. As. Benjamin Button.
Here's British Parliament (watch the whole thing):
Brilliant! The British can make a debate on inheritance tax the awesomest 4 minutes of your day.
Highlights include 0:22 and 1:51. Those lawmakers know how to have a good time. It looks like a freestyle rap battle between guys who talk funny and decide how an entire country should be run.
I say we wrangle up some Brits, lock them in a fancy room, tell them to talk about the health care crisis, and watch the discussion slowly dissolve into a shouting match between the two sides that is moderated by an unusually soft-spoken old guy.
British Parliament: the most recent addition to things I like.
But I have found something amazing.
The British have done it again. Even their lawmaking process is made interesting.
For example, here is a session of American Congress (don't watch the whole thing - it's 17 minutes long):
Boring. As. Benjamin Button.
Here's British Parliament (watch the whole thing):
Brilliant! The British can make a debate on inheritance tax the awesomest 4 minutes of your day.
Highlights include 0:22 and 1:51. Those lawmakers know how to have a good time. It looks like a freestyle rap battle between guys who talk funny and decide how an entire country should be run.
I say we wrangle up some Brits, lock them in a fancy room, tell them to talk about the health care crisis, and watch the discussion slowly dissolve into a shouting match between the two sides that is moderated by an unusually soft-spoken old guy.
British Parliament: the most recent addition to things I like.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Crazy Fan!
I just found a new fan by dyson. Even though it's radically becoming colder in Boston, I still think it would be cool to have.
Here is its page, and here is how it works.
Here is its page, and here is how it works.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Well, The Senate Panel cleared the health care bill.
I'm healthy, what do I care.
I just survived 6 days of my old Uncle and Aunt. And I'm exhausted.
My aunt, who once gave my sister bowls as a present, who takes pictures of the food we cook to show to her children. Who actually care! "Hey everybody, we're going to gather round the the coffee table and take a look at what we had to eat a few days ago."
Sidenote: I was going to finish that sarcastic imitation with something about seeing it now, but I decided against it. You're welcome.
And my uncle. You can't really hear what he says.
These are strange people. I once saw them sitting on a couch. That's it. That's all they were doing. Isn't that strange?
I used to think sitting on a couch was theoretically a normal activity. Upon actually observing it, however, I realize that you look like a crazy person.
Multitask, people! It's the future.
I'm healthy, what do I care.
I just survived 6 days of my old Uncle and Aunt. And I'm exhausted.
My aunt, who once gave my sister bowls as a present, who takes pictures of the food we cook to show to her children. Who actually care! "Hey everybody, we're going to gather round the the coffee table and take a look at what we had to eat a few days ago."
Sidenote: I was going to finish that sarcastic imitation with something about seeing it now, but I decided against it. You're welcome.
And my uncle. You can't really hear what he says.
These are strange people. I once saw them sitting on a couch. That's it. That's all they were doing. Isn't that strange?
I used to think sitting on a couch was theoretically a normal activity. Upon actually observing it, however, I realize that you look like a crazy person.
Multitask, people! It's the future.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
More pictures!
Our president being nerdy!
Kanye interrupting God:
Interestingly enough, There is now a website devoted to the Kanye meme. It's called imaletyoufinish.com
"Yo Justin, I know you're blogging, and I'ma let you finish, but Perez Hilton has one of the best blogs of all time!"
Freakin Kanye.
Kanye interrupting God:
Interestingly enough, There is now a website devoted to the Kanye meme. It's called imaletyoufinish.com"Yo Justin, I know you're blogging, and I'ma let you finish, but Perez Hilton has one of the best blogs of all time!"
Freakin Kanye.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Superchair!
I have a look alike pending, but I have to find a way to put the pictures side by side. Till then, enjoy the coolest chair ever:
Monday, August 17, 2009
Rove and Limbaugh - Family Guy Guest stars?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/14/rush-limbaugh-and-karl-ro_n_259497.html
So, Apparently Rush Limbaugh and Karl Rove are gonna be on Family Guy.
If there were an emoticon that expressed shock, I would use it.
80. Emoticons FTW.
Apparently Brian has nothing more to complain about with Obama as president, so he bangs a uey and heads to the far right.
Nothing to complain about. Aside from a nation deeply divided on health care reform and money being injected into former billion dollar corporations like botox into Joan Rivers.
And naming a dog Bo. Who does that? Seriously. I can not express emotion better than 80
Oh well. Here's an awesome picture:
That's right. The beatles about to cross Abbey Road.
:D
So, Apparently Rush Limbaugh and Karl Rove are gonna be on Family Guy.
If there were an emoticon that expressed shock, I would use it.
80. Emoticons FTW.
Apparently Brian has nothing more to complain about with Obama as president, so he bangs a uey and heads to the far right.
Nothing to complain about. Aside from a nation deeply divided on health care reform and money being injected into former billion dollar corporations like botox into Joan Rivers.
And naming a dog Bo. Who does that? Seriously. I can not express emotion better than 80
Oh well. Here's an awesome picture:
That's right. The beatles about to cross Abbey Road.
:D
Photobombing
So, being a blogger, I feel obligated to do a blog on this picture:
Ohh, yay, look at the cute squirrel. Woo-hoo. Nothing could ever intrude on a picture like that.
Except for:
Booyah! X-Ray Bomb!
Ohh, yay, look at the cute squirrel. Woo-hoo. Nothing could ever intrude on a picture like that.
Except for:
Booyah! X-Ray Bomb!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Cities from distances.
http://www.funtasticus.com/20090810/cities-at-night-from-a-distance/
So apparently they didn't think Boston was worth showing, probably because we TURN OUR LIGHTS OFF AT NIGHT LIKE CIVILIZED, ECO-CONSCIOUS PEOPLE!!!
Didn't Al Gore ever tell you to turn out the lights? Hmm? I'm looking at you, Tokyo!
So apparently they didn't think Boston was worth showing, probably because we TURN OUR LIGHTS OFF AT NIGHT LIKE CIVILIZED, ECO-CONSCIOUS PEOPLE!!!
Didn't Al Gore ever tell you to turn out the lights? Hmm? I'm looking at you, Tokyo!
Friday, August 7, 2009
John Adams: First Twitterer Ever
http://twitter.com/JQAdams_MHS
The above Twitter account is a periodic release from the Massachusetts Historic Society. It is John Quincy Adams' private journal. This makes John Adam's, our sixth president, the first ever twitterer.
And my grandmother still needs me to explain Hi-Def channels:
"Ok, so you hit 4, -, 1. Because that's the hi def channel. Because if you don't, it goes to Standard Def. It means regular tv."
The above Twitter account is a periodic release from the Massachusetts Historic Society. It is John Quincy Adams' private journal. This makes John Adam's, our sixth president, the first ever twitterer.
And my grandmother still needs me to explain Hi-Def channels:
"Ok, so you hit 4, -, 1. Because that's the hi def channel. Because if you don't, it goes to Standard Def. It means regular tv."
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Picture-palooza!!!! (seriously? palooza?)
So, we have a few pictures from assorted websites. I post them here for the lulz, for glory, and for the return of a decent Windows operating system.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Lightning strikes are awesome, especially after they've already hit stuff
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/07/lightning.html
Lot's of cool pictures of lightning not hitting me. Therefore, they are cool.
Lot's of cool pictures of lightning not hitting me. Therefore, they are cool.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Another Jon Stewart post?
http://www.good.is/post/jon-stewart-our-most-trusted-newsman/
Since Cronkite kicked, America has been without a trusted newsman. So we have turned to Jon Stewart in our time of need. America, you are to be commended.
Since Cronkite kicked, America has been without a trusted newsman. So we have turned to Jon Stewart in our time of need. America, you are to be commended.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
So that explains how Stewie and Brian understand eachother!
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/07/090720163559.htm
So in their busy schedule of trying to discover life on other planets, finding ways to explain how an ancient cat that died 8 million years after primates are said to have evolved fits into Human evolution, and discovering exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop (It's always 3!), scientists have found that babies understand dogs!
A magnificent breakthrough indeed! Now we are able to... well, we now know that... uh...
A magnificent breakthrough indeed!
So in their busy schedule of trying to discover life on other planets, finding ways to explain how an ancient cat that died 8 million years after primates are said to have evolved fits into Human evolution, and discovering exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop (It's always 3!), scientists have found that babies understand dogs!
A magnificent breakthrough indeed! Now we are able to... well, we now know that... uh...
A magnificent breakthrough indeed!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Stewart.the.awesome?
We all know that Jon Stewart is awesome.
If you don't, die.
But this clip shows his awesome when things work out awesome:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-july-14-2009/lenny-dykstra-s-financial-career
Oh, Dykstra, who else but a ranting wall street charlatan would love you?
If you don't, die.
But this clip shows his awesome when things work out awesome:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-july-14-2009/lenny-dykstra-s-financial-career
Oh, Dykstra, who else but a ranting wall street charlatan would love you?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I got my license!
It's true. I have received my license.
I will now fill the roadways with awesome without having a licensed driver in the passenger seat.
In honor of such a special occasion, here is a picture of a guy not taking a picture of a penguin, who is looking awesome:
I will now fill the roadways with awesome without having a licensed driver in the passenger seat.
In honor of such a special occasion, here is a picture of a guy not taking a picture of a penguin, who is looking awesome:
Monday, July 6, 2009
Obama Pics
Thought I'd share some cool Obama pics:
They're gonna get him:
Lean back:
More photos can be found here.
They're gonna get him:
Lean back:
More photos can be found here.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Dumb People.
http://www.dbms2.com/2009/07/02/storage-humor/
I would have thought this person was 65+, until I saw "Xbox". Turns out there are younger people who haven't a clue.
I would have thought this person was 65+, until I saw "Xbox". Turns out there are younger people who haven't a clue.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Too bad I can't get Billy Mays to sell my blenders....
http://tinyurl.com/nbj6n4
Carnivorous machines. It just makes the idea of Terminator that much scarier.
But it's also scary USEFUL. I think my father could use one on his porch, and if there was a machine like this that ate mosquitoes for power AND made margaritas, summer parties would never be inside.
Next project: Carnivorous Blender. Too bad I can't get Billy Mays to sell my blenders. I'll have to go with Vince Hookerpuncher.
Carnivorous machines. It just makes the idea of Terminator that much scarier.
But it's also scary USEFUL. I think my father could use one on his porch, and if there was a machine like this that ate mosquitoes for power AND made margaritas, summer parties would never be inside.
Next project: Carnivorous Blender. Too bad I can't get Billy Mays to sell my blenders. I'll have to go with Vince Hookerpuncher.
Monday, June 22, 2009
http://tinyurl.com/lbg2qu
Another reason why I hate PETA:
Our president's a ninja, and they're all up in arms that he killed a fly. They recognize his senate voting record for animal rights, but they can't get over the cat-like reflex that impelled him to kill a fly.
It's fine when frogs do it, but not the leader of the free world.
Perhaps it's a race thing.
So, yeah.
Our president's a ninja, and they're all up in arms that he killed a fly. They recognize his senate voting record for animal rights, but they can't get over the cat-like reflex that impelled him to kill a fly.
It's fine when frogs do it, but not the leader of the free world.
Perhaps it's a race thing.
So, yeah.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The misinformation that comprises Wikipedia.
So, as of June 14, Obama now has Albanian heritage on his mother's side.
You're welcome.
That was three days ago. I love a world in which we decide what's true.
And to Obama: tungjatjeta.
You're welcome.
That was three days ago. I love a world in which we decide what's true.
And to Obama: tungjatjeta.
Monday, June 15, 2009
When things get too awesome...
Read this article, and feel the awesome:
http://scarlet.unl.edu/?p=1309
The awesome, of course, stems from the fact that MY INDEPENDENT STUDY HIGH SCHOOL OFFERS IT!!!!!
http://scarlet.unl.edu/?p=1309
The awesome, of course, stems from the fact that MY INDEPENDENT STUDY HIGH SCHOOL OFFERS IT!!!!!
Friday, June 5, 2009
10 Possible Occupations for Ron Paul now that he doesn't matter
1. Villain bent on destroying the world
2. McDonalds Cashier
3. Cult leader
4. Cab Driver
5. Head of Anonymous
6. Convenience store owner
7. President of HAARP
8. American Idol contestant
9. Did I already say Cult Leader? That might actually work for him. Go through the comments marked as spam on YouTube videos. There are, like 100,000 "Ron Paul 2012" comments. He could be a very successful cult leader.
10. Hobo
2. McDonalds Cashier
3. Cult leader
4. Cab Driver
5. Head of Anonymous
6. Convenience store owner
7. President of HAARP
8. American Idol contestant
9. Did I already say Cult Leader? That might actually work for him. Go through the comments marked as spam on YouTube videos. There are, like 100,000 "Ron Paul 2012" comments. He could be a very successful cult leader.
10. Hobo
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Drivers Ed is lame.
It is soooo lame.
It will blow your mind how mind-blowingly lame it is.
But now I'm finished. And I can get my license in a couple of weeks.
Word.
So it wasn't a total waste. Just a minor one.
So, yeah.
It will blow your mind how mind-blowingly lame it is.
But now I'm finished. And I can get my license in a couple of weeks.
Word.
So it wasn't a total waste. Just a minor one.
So, yeah.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
20th century sitcom catchphrases that never caught on
"What'chu talkin' 'bout, Chandrasekhar?" - The Bhattis: From Mumbai to Rindge Towers
"We are two crazy homos!" - Two Crazy Homos
"Well how do you explain the Elephant-riding Monkey?!" - The Zookeepers
"It's like laser tag, but with bullets and, you know, killing." - 'Nam-tastic
"Indubitably, Captain Scratchmuffins!" - A Cat's Life
"Race you to the rock that looks like Kevin Nealon wearing a hat shaped like a Lemur!" - Running to odd shaped rocks
"Will the owner of a Velociraptor please move your car." - The Uggs
"Who cares! We only have to convince 149 more people to jump off a bridge!" - Getting Large Groups of People to Do Stupid Things, and Then Filming it with Hidden Cameras
"Oh, that DEVO!" - The DEVO Show
"We are two crazy homos!" - Two Crazy Homos
"Well how do you explain the Elephant-riding Monkey?!" - The Zookeepers
"It's like laser tag, but with bullets and, you know, killing." - 'Nam-tastic
"Indubitably, Captain Scratchmuffins!" - A Cat's Life
"Race you to the rock that looks like Kevin Nealon wearing a hat shaped like a Lemur!" - Running to odd shaped rocks
"Will the owner of a Velociraptor please move your car." - The Uggs
"Who cares! We only have to convince 149 more people to jump off a bridge!" - Getting Large Groups of People to Do Stupid Things, and Then Filming it with Hidden Cameras
"Oh, that DEVO!" - The DEVO Show
Monday, May 18, 2009
TV Finales.
TV is ending, as of late, forever. Or at least for the summer months to come.
Which will seem like forever. And all I have to look forward to is Mad Men, which comes back in August. And I guess I can look forward to the good weather.
Woo, good weather, Mad Men, and such.
But now is where Netflix becomes awesome. Also 30 Rock. Awesome.
We were recently delivered 30 Rock through Netflix, and it is cool! It's the best comedy on tv!
And I couldn't have done it without netflix.
So netflix is what shall henceforth (Seriously Justin? "Henceforth"?) be known as my summer survival system.
And I hope it is yours, too.
So, Yeah.
Which will seem like forever. And all I have to look forward to is Mad Men, which comes back in August. And I guess I can look forward to the good weather.
Woo, good weather, Mad Men, and such.
But now is where Netflix becomes awesome. Also 30 Rock. Awesome.
We were recently delivered 30 Rock through Netflix, and it is cool! It's the best comedy on tv!
And I couldn't have done it without netflix.
So netflix is what shall henceforth (Seriously Justin? "Henceforth"?) be known as my summer survival system.
And I hope it is yours, too.
So, Yeah.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Suki Switchblade's look-alike... Wendesday?
Today we have Hermes, Greek God of many assorted things, and Enrique, living proof that Michelle's dogs do not have to look like they're gonna faint if a bird chirps too loudly.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
3600-year-old Sumerian pots
Recommended Reading: It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Their Head Stuck in a 3600-Year-Old Sumerian Pot by Ian Wood.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/5/7wood.html
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/5/7wood.html
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Wolverine and Sabretooth need Family Counseling.
SPOILER ALERT: It's kinda spoilery for the new Wolverine movie.
W=Wolverine, S=Sabretooth, P=Psychiatrist.
P: Well, then, perhaps we should discuss your childhood.
S: Oh, yeah, he got all the attention...
W: I was always sick!
S: ...and being raised by Rich old Papa Howlett didn't do you any good, you were spoiled...
W: Again, always sick!
S: ...while I was raised by the Gardener, OUR real father. Oh, and thanks for killing him, by the way.
W: He killed my adoptive father!
S: He was drunk, and you knew that.
P: Well, maybe childhood isn't the best way to go.
W: Fine, let's talk about the 5 wars we were in. He killed everyone!
S: You did too! We couldn't die!
W: Yeah, but you liked it too much.
P: Okay, let's not going around accusing each other of being psychopaths. Let's do a trust exercise.
W: I'm not falling backwards with Talons McSharpclaws over there.
S: Oh, would you just shut up and fall back already!
[Wolverine falls back, landing on Sabretooth's claws]
W: OW! You see what I'm talking about!
S: Oh come on, I barely scratched you! Besides, um, YOU HEAL!
P: Maybe that's not the point, Sabretooth. Maybe it's that you want to hurt him that bothers him.
W: Yes, that's what I feel.
S: Really? I never knew you felt that way.
[Wolverine and Sabretooth hug, crying]
W: I'm sorry I killed dad!
S: I'm sorry I killed a superior officer and got us involved in the whole thing!
P: See, this is good. We're making progress. Our time is up, I'll see you next week.
[They all leave]
S: So, can I have some of the adamantium?
W: You don't want it.
S: Don't tell me what I want!
W: Oh shut up!
S: Oh, where you going now? Gonna go to Japan to set up a sequel?
W: Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
S: Ugh, you suck.
W=Wolverine, S=Sabretooth, P=Psychiatrist.
P: Well, then, perhaps we should discuss your childhood.
S: Oh, yeah, he got all the attention...
W: I was always sick!
S: ...and being raised by Rich old Papa Howlett didn't do you any good, you were spoiled...
W: Again, always sick!
S: ...while I was raised by the Gardener, OUR real father. Oh, and thanks for killing him, by the way.
W: He killed my adoptive father!
S: He was drunk, and you knew that.
P: Well, maybe childhood isn't the best way to go.
W: Fine, let's talk about the 5 wars we were in. He killed everyone!
S: You did too! We couldn't die!
W: Yeah, but you liked it too much.
P: Okay, let's not going around accusing each other of being psychopaths. Let's do a trust exercise.
W: I'm not falling backwards with Talons McSharpclaws over there.
S: Oh, would you just shut up and fall back already!
[Wolverine falls back, landing on Sabretooth's claws]
W: OW! You see what I'm talking about!
S: Oh come on, I barely scratched you! Besides, um, YOU HEAL!
P: Maybe that's not the point, Sabretooth. Maybe it's that you want to hurt him that bothers him.
W: Yes, that's what I feel.
S: Really? I never knew you felt that way.
[Wolverine and Sabretooth hug, crying]
W: I'm sorry I killed dad!
S: I'm sorry I killed a superior officer and got us involved in the whole thing!
P: See, this is good. We're making progress. Our time is up, I'll see you next week.
[They all leave]
S: So, can I have some of the adamantium?
W: You don't want it.
S: Don't tell me what I want!
W: Oh shut up!
S: Oh, where you going now? Gonna go to Japan to set up a sequel?
W: Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
S: Ugh, you suck.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4357855
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4357855
http://www.smh.com.au/world/only-7-swine-flu-deaths-not-152-says-who-20090429-aml1.html
8.
In Mexico.
Plus one more in Houston, who was visiting from Mexico.
That's it.
But it's much more fun to start a panic campaign. The two confirmed cases in Massachusetts are of significant importance to us. Who knows what those two have touched!
EDIT: "The chances of dying from this pandemic are smaller then being killed by lightning, a shark attack, moose attack, hippopotamus attack, an earthquake, tornado, hurricane, or something as mundane as taking a bath or shower." Joe Sheehy
So I don't want to hear anymore about the Crazy Pig Sniffles.
http://www.smh.com.au/world/only-7-swine-flu-deaths-not-152-says-who-20090429-aml1.html
8.
In Mexico.
Plus one more in Houston, who was visiting from Mexico.
That's it.
But it's much more fun to start a panic campaign. The two confirmed cases in Massachusetts are of significant importance to us. Who knows what those two have touched!
EDIT: "The chances of dying from this pandemic are smaller then being killed by lightning, a shark attack, moose attack, hippopotamus attack, an earthquake, tornado, hurricane, or something as mundane as taking a bath or shower." Joe Sheehy
So I don't want to hear anymore about the Crazy Pig Sniffles.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Odd points to walk into a conversation about LOST if you haven't the foggiest....
"So it had to be dislodged from the space-time continuum. Which is what they did. Only they couldn't relodge it back into the space-time continuum, so they kept time traveling."
"So that's what the donkey wheel is for."
----
"It's kind of like a cloud, but it lives in a tomb and can pick people up."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"Get used to that feeling."
----
"So the Scottish guy's house crashed their plane?"
"No, the pocket of magnetic energy his house was built on top of and was designed to contain crashed their plane. It only crashed because he wasn't able to enter in the numbers on time."
----
"So wait; the brother and sister SLEPT TOGETHER?"
"They're only step-siblings."
"So that's what the donkey wheel is for."
----
"It's kind of like a cloud, but it lives in a tomb and can pick people up."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"Get used to that feeling."
----
"So the Scottish guy's house crashed their plane?"
"No, the pocket of magnetic energy his house was built on top of and was designed to contain crashed their plane. It only crashed because he wasn't able to enter in the numbers on time."
----
"So wait; the brother and sister SLEPT TOGETHER?"
"They're only step-siblings."
Thursday, April 23, 2009
LaHood Snubs Plan to Keep Data on Bird Strikes Secret
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/22/AR2009042202057.html?nav=igoogle
Anybody? Who wants this?
This could actually be useful data, as the January incident demonstrates that the terrorists have a new tool: flocks of geese.
"I mean, here they just released all of these CIA files regarding interrogation, and . . . the optic of us trying to tell people they can't have information about birds flying around airports, I don't think that really quite comports with the policies of the administration,"
Right, now that we have important useful information, why not release unimportant useless information?
It's not so much that it's being released that bothers me, it's that they were COLLECTING THIS DATA IN THE FIRST PLACE. And to top it all off, it was secret!
"Shh, we can't let the people know about the kamikaze geese!"
Well, all in all, I think this will be an important step in making sure that everybody knows where the birds are flying into airplanes. Hopefully, years from now we'll look back on this and say "I am so glad we new about the flocks of pigeons divebombing 727s." A new era is born, as we enter the Birds-flying-into-passenger-aircraft-awareness age.
Godspeed, avian creatures.
"LaHood, whose agency oversees the FAA, said that public comments ran '99.9 percent' in favor of making such information accessible.
'I think all of this information ought to be made public. . . . We're going to, you know, make this information as public as anybody wants it,'"Anybody? Who wants this?
This could actually be useful data, as the January incident demonstrates that the terrorists have a new tool: flocks of geese.
"I mean, here they just released all of these CIA files regarding interrogation, and . . . the optic of us trying to tell people they can't have information about birds flying around airports, I don't think that really quite comports with the policies of the administration,"
Right, now that we have important useful information, why not release unimportant useless information?
It's not so much that it's being released that bothers me, it's that they were COLLECTING THIS DATA IN THE FIRST PLACE. And to top it all off, it was secret!
"Shh, we can't let the people know about the kamikaze geese!"
Well, all in all, I think this will be an important step in making sure that everybody knows where the birds are flying into airplanes. Hopefully, years from now we'll look back on this and say "I am so glad we new about the flocks of pigeons divebombing 727s." A new era is born, as we enter the Birds-flying-into-passenger-aircraft-awareness age.
Godspeed, avian creatures.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Suki Switchblade presents (under pain of being eaten by a lolcat) Look-alike Tuesday!
Alright, this one is Greta, Michelle's only remotely normal-looking pet, and the Guy from A Clockwork Orange.
She also sent me another zombie one, but two zombies in a row spells trouble.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Typos, and their effect on visitors to my blog,
The URL to my site is justintheawesome.blogspot.com in that form only. Its purest form.
However, if the p and s in blogspot are switched, you have just been doomed to reading "an easy to navigate MEGA-SITE of Bible, Christian, church & religious information, sermons & studies."
Why they chose their url after mine is unknowable. However I do know that these people are an odd bunch. 43 sections explaining the antichrist? Is it that expansive of a subject that it necessitates 43 sections to explain it? Consolidation is next to Godliness, Fundies.
Another great section is the section explaining that the bible prophecied the telephone:
"Could this be the telephone?
Job 38:35-CANST THOU SEND LIGHTNINGS (or we might say, electrical currents), THAT THEY MAY GO, AND SAY UNTO THEE, HERE WE ARE?"
Touche, Abundantbible.com, well played.
However, if the p and s in blogspot are switched, you have just been doomed to reading "an easy to navigate MEGA-SITE of Bible, Christian, church & religious information, sermons & studies."
Why they chose their url after mine is unknowable. However I do know that these people are an odd bunch. 43 sections explaining the antichrist? Is it that expansive of a subject that it necessitates 43 sections to explain it? Consolidation is next to Godliness, Fundies.
Another great section is the section explaining that the bible prophecied the telephone:
"Could this be the telephone?
Job 38:35-CANST THOU SEND LIGHTNINGS (or we might say, electrical currents), THAT THEY MAY GO, AND SAY UNTO THEE, HERE WE ARE?"
Touche, Abundantbible.com, well played.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Taupe: Harmless color, or ESTROGEN FUELED CONSPIRACY.
I must admit I don't know what taupe is.
And that's because taupe is everything.
I've heard the term "taupe" used to describe everything from a deep reddish-purple house to a summer squash to a slightly green banana. From my own research, taupe apparently describes a color. However, when I ask people what taupe is (generally women, because they kinda know that stuff), I get a different answer every time, and none of it makes sense:
"Um, it's kind of like, a tan-ish green, but with, like, some red, or, well, you know. Hey, who wants coffee?"
"It's a beige-ish purple, but, like, kind of different."
"Kind of reddish-orangy with some brown, but deeper."
What do those even mean?
I'll tell you what it means.
IT'S A TEST! There is no record of taupe before 2007. It was created by women to try to see whether we're paying attention. "Oh, I like that taupe-colored house" is really "he's drifting. Better check to make sure he's awake." As with all women, there is really no right answer. Just different degrees of wrong. "Oh yeah, taupe rocks!" means you don't know or care about what she's saying, you just want her to stop pointing at houses. "Huh, I don't really like taupe" means you think she has bad taste in non-existent colors. Asking "what is taupe?" throws them, and they get frustrated because they have to think of an answer without giving the plot away.
If you don't believe what I'm saying about taupe not being a real thing, Google Image search taupe. Seriously, do it. Yeah. Thought so. I count 13 different taupes on the first page alone.
EDIT: In the comments, my aunt gave me the link to the wikipedia page on Taupe. Take a look, it only proves my point, there being 8 TAUPES MENTIONED ON THE PAGE ALONE! The Google Image search brings up even more.
Rage Against The Taupe! This is now a war on imaginary colors! Look out, Burnt Sienna, You're next.
And that's because taupe is everything.
I've heard the term "taupe" used to describe everything from a deep reddish-purple house to a summer squash to a slightly green banana. From my own research, taupe apparently describes a color. However, when I ask people what taupe is (generally women, because they kinda know that stuff), I get a different answer every time, and none of it makes sense:
"Um, it's kind of like, a tan-ish green, but with, like, some red, or, well, you know. Hey, who wants coffee?"
"It's a beige-ish purple, but, like, kind of different."
"Kind of reddish-orangy with some brown, but deeper."
What do those even mean?
I'll tell you what it means.
IT'S A TEST! There is no record of taupe before 2007. It was created by women to try to see whether we're paying attention. "Oh, I like that taupe-colored house" is really "he's drifting. Better check to make sure he's awake." As with all women, there is really no right answer. Just different degrees of wrong. "Oh yeah, taupe rocks!" means you don't know or care about what she's saying, you just want her to stop pointing at houses. "Huh, I don't really like taupe" means you think she has bad taste in non-existent colors. Asking "what is taupe?" throws them, and they get frustrated because they have to think of an answer without giving the plot away.
If you don't believe what I'm saying about taupe not being a real thing, Google Image search taupe. Seriously, do it. Yeah. Thought so. I count 13 different taupes on the first page alone.
EDIT: In the comments, my aunt gave me the link to the wikipedia page on Taupe. Take a look, it only proves my point, there being 8 TAUPES MENTIONED ON THE PAGE ALONE! The Google Image search brings up even more.
Rage Against The Taupe! This is now a war on imaginary colors! Look out, Burnt Sienna, You're next.
Suki Switchblade Presents look-alike Tuesdays!
Today we have what can only be described as a zombie paired with the poster for Castle Freak. Enjoy.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Viral Emails
Anybody else hate dumb email forwards? The ones that contain the least useful facts anyone could ever find? I mean the ones that go "Mice can swallow their own bodies... AND LIVE" Now picture that sentence written in bubbly, pseudo-child's writing font, in a shade of blue, red, or a yellow so bright against the white background that you actually have to adjust your computer screen or your seating position to read it.
And then of course, we have the emails warning us of the "worst virus ever, McAfee won't protect you, your computer will kill your mother." After over 10 years of Google, nobody ever uses it to dispel these, and another contacts list gets infected.
So I'm gonna do that. Everybody forward this around:
Ok, I couldn't believe this when I read it. We've been doing more harm than good.
According to a recent study done by the EPADR (EPA's Department of Recycling), 97% of recycling centers in the U.S. WON'T RECYCLE BOTTLES THAT STILL HAVE THE LABEL ON THEM.
97%. I can't believe it.
Just imagine how many bottles have gone into landfills in THE PAST YEAR ALONE!
Please forward this to all your friends and family so that we can end the cycle.
I Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltretes in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whtouit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wolhe. Azinamg huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
And then of course, we have the emails warning us of the "worst virus ever, McAfee won't protect you, your computer will kill your mother." After over 10 years of Google, nobody ever uses it to dispel these, and another contacts list gets infected.
So I'm gonna do that. Everybody forward this around:
Ok, I couldn't believe this when I read it. We've been doing more harm than good.
According to a recent study done by the EPADR (EPA's Department of Recycling), 97% of recycling centers in the U.S. WON'T RECYCLE BOTTLES THAT STILL HAVE THE LABEL ON THEM.
97%. I can't believe it.
Just imagine how many bottles have gone into landfills in THE PAST YEAR ALONE!
Please forward this to all your friends and family so that we can end the cycle.
I Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltretes in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whtouit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wolhe. Azinamg huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/08/AR2009040804378.html?nav=igoogle
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/08/AR2009040804378.html?nav=igoogle
What's next? Taliban Twitter....
(read from bottom up)
----------------------------------
@KazimFTW Oh, you poor sport.
about 8 hours ago from web
------------------------------------------------------------
Awesome! SOAD just came on the radio! Driving home now.
about 10 hours ago from Tweetie
------------------------------------------------------
You know they sell Snuggies at Costco? Just bought 5.
about 11 hours ago from Tweetie
--------------------------------------------------------
Jonas Brothers song came on over loudspeaker. Feel like
strangling al-Aqwabah.
about 11 hours ago from Tweetie
-----------------------------------------------------
I hate when Costco's out of deluxe pack
Cheez-its. Going with Cheese Puffs instead.
about 12 hours ago from Tweetie
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, going to store with al-Aqwabah. Will update on tweetie.
about 13 hours ago from web
----------------------------------------------------
LOL, totally nailed Kazim with exploding cigarette!
about 15 hours ago from web
----------------------------------------------
Ugh, bored. Going to play prank on recruits.
about 16 hours ago from web
What's next? Taliban Twitter....
(read from bottom up)
----------------------------------
@KazimFTW Oh, you poor sport.
about 8 hours ago from web
------------------------------------------------------------
Awesome! SOAD just came on the radio! Driving home now.
about 10 hours ago from Tweetie
------------------------------------------------------
You know they sell Snuggies at Costco? Just bought 5.
about 11 hours ago from Tweetie
--------------------------------------------------------
Jonas Brothers song came on over loudspeaker. Feel like
strangling al-Aqwabah.
about 11 hours ago from Tweetie
-----------------------------------------------------
I hate when Costco's out of deluxe pack
Cheez-its. Going with Cheese Puffs instead.
about 12 hours ago from Tweetie
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, going to store with al-Aqwabah. Will update on tweetie.
about 13 hours ago from web
----------------------------------------------------
LOL, totally nailed Kazim with exploding cigarette!
about 15 hours ago from web
----------------------------------------------
Ugh, bored. Going to play prank on recruits.
about 16 hours ago from web
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Suki Switchblade Presents Look-alike Tuesdays!
The Fight Club Special! Both Leonard Nimoy and Eyebrow Cat portray Spock!
Monday, April 6, 2009
This just in:....
This just in: Televisions; could they one day control our minds? We'll tell you when at 11.
Breaking news: How pants could slowly be giving us AIDS. Details at 10.
Barack Obama: Terrorist or Nazi?
Is your cat trying to murder you? We'll tell you the signs to look for at 11.
The metric system: Harmless measuring or Osama's most effective tool?
Next, How Earth could be killing your loved ones.
Breaking: Brick buildings spontaneously combusting. Is your building next?
Has Earth been invaded by aliens? Why some experts are saying yes, at 11.
Cable news programs: Harmless sensationalism, or mind control tactic? All this and more, at midnight.
Breaking news: How pants could slowly be giving us AIDS. Details at 10.
Barack Obama: Terrorist or Nazi?
Is your cat trying to murder you? We'll tell you the signs to look for at 11.
The metric system: Harmless measuring or Osama's most effective tool?
Next, How Earth could be killing your loved ones.
Breaking: Brick buildings spontaneously combusting. Is your building next?
Has Earth been invaded by aliens? Why some experts are saying yes, at 11.
Cable news programs: Harmless sensationalism, or mind control tactic? All this and more, at midnight.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Do I take old video games too seriously?
There they are. 5 rows, 11 enemies a row. Frozen there. Waiting for me to make my move, and not budging until I do. I hide behind my bunker, watching them. And they watch me.
In the heat of our game of intimidation, I make my move. Standing alone, I dodge to the right, outside of my bunker, firing my cannon. The only line of defense between them and the moon, I expertly time my shots to fire into their ranks and take out the last row. They feint to the left, until the farthest row reaches the edge of the battlefield. Once it does, it crawls closer to me.
As I dodge from bunker to bunker, their missiles and bolts eat away at my bunker, until I have no choice but to blow the bunker to pieces and carry on my fight in the open.
And then, IT comes passing through. The red saucer. Big scoring.
I have dealt with saucers like that before, in my training days. I fire along an empty column, timing the shot with the accuracy only a Veteran Space Captain could develop. Explosion. 300 points.
I shift my attention back to the enemy closing in on the moon, closing in on me. I dodge and fire almost without thinking. This has become second nature to me. If the moon falls to the aliens, surely Earth will be next. And I am the only person who can ensure that never happens.
Now is the time for methodical sniping. 4 left, and I can no longer fire into the ranks and hope to hit something. 1, 2, 3, they fall under my cannon. It's now just me and you, mushroom-looking alien guy. Me and you.
But suddenly, he tries to turn the tables. A lightning bolt is fired at me. In a desperate attempt to take one of my lives. Even if I let him hit me, I will return with one of my other two lives, and once he is finished, I will get that life back. Truly a desperate bid to extend his life span by a few seconds. Pathetic.
I swiftly avoid his bolt, but as I move back in to deal the death blow, he has moved behind one of the shields. I wait on the other side for him, and as he comes around, I fire my cannon. But I miss!
Seeing his opportunity, he fires off at me. My miss gives him confidence. I can take him. Staring at the bolt, I return fire. Just as the bolt is about to hit me, I see the explosion of my missile hitting alien scum. Mission accomplished.
But the next wave appears before I can enjoy my victory.
In the heat of our game of intimidation, I make my move. Standing alone, I dodge to the right, outside of my bunker, firing my cannon. The only line of defense between them and the moon, I expertly time my shots to fire into their ranks and take out the last row. They feint to the left, until the farthest row reaches the edge of the battlefield. Once it does, it crawls closer to me.
As I dodge from bunker to bunker, their missiles and bolts eat away at my bunker, until I have no choice but to blow the bunker to pieces and carry on my fight in the open.
And then, IT comes passing through. The red saucer. Big scoring.
I have dealt with saucers like that before, in my training days. I fire along an empty column, timing the shot with the accuracy only a Veteran Space Captain could develop. Explosion. 300 points.
I shift my attention back to the enemy closing in on the moon, closing in on me. I dodge and fire almost without thinking. This has become second nature to me. If the moon falls to the aliens, surely Earth will be next. And I am the only person who can ensure that never happens.
Now is the time for methodical sniping. 4 left, and I can no longer fire into the ranks and hope to hit something. 1, 2, 3, they fall under my cannon. It's now just me and you, mushroom-looking alien guy. Me and you.
But suddenly, he tries to turn the tables. A lightning bolt is fired at me. In a desperate attempt to take one of my lives. Even if I let him hit me, I will return with one of my other two lives, and once he is finished, I will get that life back. Truly a desperate bid to extend his life span by a few seconds. Pathetic.
I swiftly avoid his bolt, but as I move back in to deal the death blow, he has moved behind one of the shields. I wait on the other side for him, and as he comes around, I fire my cannon. But I miss!
Seeing his opportunity, he fires off at me. My miss gives him confidence. I can take him. Staring at the bolt, I return fire. Just as the bolt is about to hit me, I see the explosion of my missile hitting alien scum. Mission accomplished.
But the next wave appears before I can enjoy my victory.
Epic Flail.
Ladies, Gentlemen, and everything in between, I have discovered a new form of self-expression. Running seems to be a growing fad - everybody runs these days. But do you really move? Huh? DO YOU?!! The answer is no. Until now.
Flailing - the newest form of running - is now coming into style. It moves your whole body, making your whole body move in tune with itself. Flailpacks, a group of Flailers devoted to the art of Flailing, are popping up around dog parks Cambridge-wide!
When flailing, you must have extremely loose clothing. When I say "loose", I mean find a fat guy, steal his clothes, and run. After a few seconds, the fat guy will tire out and require a sandwich (scientifically proven fact). You must be free of all incumberances, because you are moving with the wind. Wearing loose clothing is like wearing a giant sail, except you look less ridiculous, which is all the more important since you are Flailing, and you already look ridiculous. But Flailing isn't about not looking ridiculous, it's about expressing who you are, and you are ridiculous.
So I hope you try Flailing. For your sake. I must go now, I have a Filipino Knife Fighting class for Four-year-olds I have to instruct.
Flailing - the newest form of running - is now coming into style. It moves your whole body, making your whole body move in tune with itself. Flailpacks, a group of Flailers devoted to the art of Flailing, are popping up around dog parks Cambridge-wide!
When flailing, you must have extremely loose clothing. When I say "loose", I mean find a fat guy, steal his clothes, and run. After a few seconds, the fat guy will tire out and require a sandwich (scientifically proven fact). You must be free of all incumberances, because you are moving with the wind. Wearing loose clothing is like wearing a giant sail, except you look less ridiculous, which is all the more important since you are Flailing, and you already look ridiculous. But Flailing isn't about not looking ridiculous, it's about expressing who you are, and you are ridiculous.
So I hope you try Flailing. For your sake. I must go now, I have a Filipino Knife Fighting class for Four-year-olds I have to instruct.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Suki Switchblade presents Look-alike Tuesdays!
Today's look-alikes are a small angry puppy and Sean Connery.
Monday, March 30, 2009
What does not kill you...
"What does not kill him, makes him stronger" - Friedrich Nietzsche. (originally in German. But we all know who speaks German, right? NAZIS!)
People often incorrectly (you'd know that if you were me) paraphrase that as applying to them personally. What kind of saying is that? What does not kill you makes you stronger. You just read that sentence. Dead yet? No? Good! You're stronger.
Let's say you get hit by a car. People come rushing to the scene and ask if you're dead. You reply no (or yes, if you're witty). They walk away, saying "oh well, you're stronger now. Both your legs aren't working anymore, but suck it up, gimpy. It's good for you."
Now, a discussion of the misuse of that quote only inevitably leads to Kanye.
"Now that that don't kill me, Can only make me stronger." - Kanye West.
Now, his (mis)use of the above quote only increases my distaste for Kanye. This, and also his use of Auto-tune on "Love Lockdown". You're not T-PAIN! And neither is Lil' Wayne. Just tossing that in there. Lil' Wayne is awful.
So I'm misusing the Niexzctschxcze quote (Sorry, normal human beings are unable to spell his last name correctly without checking. I have neither the time nor the inclination to do so.) in my own way.
"What does not kill you is obviously not a ninja. If it were a ninja, you'd be dead. Yeah. Ninjas." - Justin.
People often incorrectly (you'd know that if you were me) paraphrase that as applying to them personally. What kind of saying is that? What does not kill you makes you stronger. You just read that sentence. Dead yet? No? Good! You're stronger.
Let's say you get hit by a car. People come rushing to the scene and ask if you're dead. You reply no (or yes, if you're witty). They walk away, saying "oh well, you're stronger now. Both your legs aren't working anymore, but suck it up, gimpy. It's good for you."
Now, a discussion of the misuse of that quote only inevitably leads to Kanye.
"Now that that don't kill me, Can only make me stronger." - Kanye West.
Now, his (mis)use of the above quote only increases my distaste for Kanye. This, and also his use of Auto-tune on "Love Lockdown". You're not T-PAIN! And neither is Lil' Wayne. Just tossing that in there. Lil' Wayne is awful.
So I'm misusing the Niexzctschxcze quote (Sorry, normal human beings are unable to spell his last name correctly without checking. I have neither the time nor the inclination to do so.) in my own way.
"What does not kill you is obviously not a ninja. If it were a ninja, you'd be dead. Yeah. Ninjas." - Justin.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
We forget we're not Mexican.
Ah, beans, beans, the magical fruit... well, you know the rest.
We are a big mexican food family. We have really good enchiladas, we even do homemade tacos, as in not buying the shells and we cook the meat ourselves and all that. But we forget we're not Mexican, and we get cocky about our Mexican food and sometimes take it overboard.
Enter refritos. Now I believe that certain people are able to eat Mexican food, and some are not. I am just barely on the enchilada line, if I have good enchiladas (we do). But anything more than an enchilada doesn't sit well. Literally. So I go in for the beans, just to see if I can push myself over the enchilada line. I did not immediately regret my decision, they tasted good, but about an hour later, well, no me gusta.
So we do have good mexican food, but yo no puedo refritos.
P.S. Should I do a LOST post? I think I can handle it. It would really be an aggregate of what I read about it on the web.
We are a big mexican food family. We have really good enchiladas, we even do homemade tacos, as in not buying the shells and we cook the meat ourselves and all that. But we forget we're not Mexican, and we get cocky about our Mexican food and sometimes take it overboard.
Enter refritos. Now I believe that certain people are able to eat Mexican food, and some are not. I am just barely on the enchilada line, if I have good enchiladas (we do). But anything more than an enchilada doesn't sit well. Literally. So I go in for the beans, just to see if I can push myself over the enchilada line. I did not immediately regret my decision, they tasted good, but about an hour later, well, no me gusta.
So we do have good mexican food, but yo no puedo refritos.
P.S. Should I do a LOST post? I think I can handle it. It would really be an aggregate of what I read about it on the web.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Slogan Wednesday: Cups
So I was looking at everyday objects, and wondered how they could be advertised. I mean, everyone has certain little things like office supplies, kitchen utensils, but you never see ads for them as new things. You'd never find an ad for cups as a new invention on their own.
I plan on changing that. So I'm going to start with cups, and things related to them:
Cups, because bottles are so 1994.
Cups, it's like a little vase. You like vases, right?
Straws, when you no longer have the will to drink straight from the glass.
Cups, it's better than using your hands.
Have you ever had that "ah" moment? You know, the one where boiling hot coffee spills onto your thigh in the middle of traffic? You probably have, it's usually followed by many expletives. Well now you can use a coffee lid! Yes, that's right, it's a lid for your coffee cup. Now you can throw your coffee around the car and never have to worry about it spilling again!
Cups, I can't believe you haven't thought of this already!
Travel mugs, because regular mugs suck.
There you have it folks.
Next week: rulers.
I plan on changing that. So I'm going to start with cups, and things related to them:
Cups, because bottles are so 1994.
Cups, it's like a little vase. You like vases, right?
Straws, when you no longer have the will to drink straight from the glass.
Cups, it's better than using your hands.
Have you ever had that "ah" moment? You know, the one where boiling hot coffee spills onto your thigh in the middle of traffic? You probably have, it's usually followed by many expletives. Well now you can use a coffee lid! Yes, that's right, it's a lid for your coffee cup. Now you can throw your coffee around the car and never have to worry about it spilling again!
Cups, I can't believe you haven't thought of this already!
Travel mugs, because regular mugs suck.
There you have it folks.
Next week: rulers.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/23/AR2009032301626.html?nav=igoogle
"Among women, those who ate the most red meat were 36 percent more likely to die for any reason, 20 percent more likely to die of cancer and 50 percent more likely to die of heart disease. Men who ate the most meat were 31 percent more likely to die for any reason, 22 percent more likely to die of cancer and 27 percent more likely to die of heart disease."
So according to this site on causes of death, heart-related deaths constitute 28.5 percent of all deaths. So if you regularly eat red meat, women have a 36.2 percent chance and men have a 42.8 percent chance of dying a heart related death.
It's official. Red meat is more dangerous than cancer (which weighs in at 22.8%).
And also murderers (homicide makes up only 0.7%). It is actually reasonable to be more afraid of the steak you're eating than the creepy guy with a machete staring at you from your dining room window.
"Among women, those who ate the most red meat were 36 percent more likely to die for any reason, 20 percent more likely to die of cancer and 50 percent more likely to die of heart disease. Men who ate the most meat were 31 percent more likely to die for any reason, 22 percent more likely to die of cancer and 27 percent more likely to die of heart disease."
So according to this site on causes of death, heart-related deaths constitute 28.5 percent of all deaths. So if you regularly eat red meat, women have a 36.2 percent chance and men have a 42.8 percent chance of dying a heart related death.
It's official. Red meat is more dangerous than cancer (which weighs in at 22.8%).
And also murderers (homicide makes up only 0.7%). It is actually reasonable to be more afraid of the steak you're eating than the creepy guy with a machete staring at you from your dining room window.
Suki Switchblade presents Look-alike Tuesday!
Hi everyone, it's tuesday, and that means it's time for Suki Switchblade presents Look-alike Tuesday! YAAAY!!!
In the words of Suki Herself: "Suki has a Cult following." So you better read this, or face her wrath.
Today's twins separated at birth are Nick Nolte and Sidney Pollino (click for higher resolution):
In the words of Suki Herself: "Suki has a Cult following." So you better read this, or face her wrath.
Today's twins separated at birth are Nick Nolte and Sidney Pollino (click for higher resolution):
Monday, March 23, 2009
Oh boy, an observant avian and a female vigilante.
My followers include "Suki Switchblade" and "Watchful Cockatoo", who could be the title character of one of Frank Millers graphic novels and the crime boss she works for.
Harvard people are odd.
Harvard people are odd.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The awesome is live.
And now you’re gonna hear about them.
First of all, this is a free zone for me. I can say whatever I feel like.
Genitals. (tee-hee!)
Blogging 1, not blogging 0.
Also, the format of blogging is appealing. It's non-verbal, one-sided thought publishing. I have a format with which I can write what I'm thinking, and you're not directly talking to me. Unless you choose to comment. However in that case, I can just ignore you.
Blogging 2, conversations 0
I’ve also got another job, due to this. That makes two: Awesome person/Blogger.
Well, technically three. I’m also a ninja.
Blogging 3, sitting in my room only awesoming or being out ninja-ing 0.
So there you have it folks, Blogging is better than not blogging.
So, yeah.
Justin.The Awesome goes live monday!
A blog? Oh snap! Yes, my friends, I go live monday.
If you use a feed aggregator, you can subscribe to me to get posts in real time.
So, yeah.
Justin.
If you use a feed aggregator, you can subscribe to me to get posts in real time.
So, yeah.
Justin.
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