Wolverine and Sabretooth need Family Counseling.

SPOILER ALERT: It's kinda spoilery for the new Wolverine movie.

W=Wolverine, S=Sabretooth, P=Psychiatrist.

P: Well, then, perhaps we should discuss your childhood.

S: Oh, yeah, he got all the attention...

W: I was always sick!

S: ...and being raised by Rich old Papa Howlett didn't do you any good, you were spoiled...

W: Again, always sick!

S: ...while I was raised by the Gardener, OUR real father. Oh, and thanks for killing him, by the way.

W: He killed my adoptive father!

S: He was drunk, and you knew that.

P: Well, maybe childhood isn't the best way to go.

W: Fine, let's talk about the 5 wars we were in. He killed everyone!

S: You did too! We couldn't die!

W: Yeah, but you liked it too much.

P: Okay, let's not going around accusing each other of being psychopaths. Let's do a trust exercise.

W: I'm not falling backwards with Talons McSharpclaws over there.

S: Oh, would you just shut up and fall back already!

[Wolverine falls back, landing on Sabretooth's claws]

W: OW! You see what I'm talking about!

S: Oh come on, I barely scratched you! Besides, um, YOU HEAL!

P: Maybe that's not the point, Sabretooth. Maybe it's that you want to hurt him that bothers him.

W: Yes, that's what I feel.

S: Really? I never knew you felt that way.

[Wolverine and Sabretooth hug, crying]

W: I'm sorry I killed dad!

S: I'm sorry I killed a superior officer and got us involved in the whole thing!

P: See, this is good. We're making progress. Our time is up, I'll see you next week.

[They all leave]

S: So, can I have some of the adamantium?

W: You don't want it.

S: Don't tell me what I want!

W: Oh shut up!

S: Oh, where you going now? Gonna go to Japan to set up a sequel?

W: Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.

S: Ugh, you suck.